Finding myself

So, hypothyroid seems to be under control with medication and my anxiety was slowly reducing, of course due to the medication I was taking. I was making progress with my writing and I finally found a job working as a lab tech in another department.

I remember going in for the interview. I put on my super self-confident, friendly, not too girlie character in full swing. Cool and confident, since the person I was interviewing with seemed to prefer those character traits. But I tell you, that was not how I was feeling inside. Inside, I was defeated and desperate! "Please hire me! I need money!" was all that I was thinking. I forgot to add that this was also a time that the university was in a hiring freeze. Can you believe it! It was the middle of the recession. I couldn't have picked a better time to be desperate for work. LOL!

I got the job and started working immediately. This job was my second step to recovery. I was able to see how the PI interacted with his graduate students. It was somewhat different from what I was used too. Weekly lab meetings which included not only student updates but also reviews of literature pertinent to the student's research. Another thing I noticed was the quick PI manuscript turn around. At least a week, never more than two. I was beginning to get envious. Although the lab I was working in was a completely different field, I felt like my old self was slowly coming back.

While working as a lab tech, I applied for an adjunct faculty position in hopes to teach psychology. I felt that with my graduate background, neuroscience, I would be able to teach an intro psychology course for the community college. Funny thing is that they called me in to interview for a math position. That fall semester, I worked as a lab tech in the mornings and taught three remedial math courses in the afternoon. To top things off, I went home and transformed to the Mama and wifie. After my daughter went to bed, I worked on my manuscripts. I loved it!

I was back to my old self. I love being busy. I am much more efficient and productive when I am truly busy. During the fall semester I found myself again and pledged to myself I would be done the following semester. At the end of the fall semester, I graded finals, wrapped stuff up in the lab for the holidays and submitted my very first manuscript. I felt accomplished and hopeful.

One more semester and I will be done! I knew that in the spring semester I wouldn't be teaching because the university canceled the contract with the community college and work was extremely slow in the lab. It couldn't have been a better time to wrap up my project.

In the next blog, I will begin to explain what happened in the spring semester. That is the emotional part of this whole experience. The spring semester is the main reason for this blog.

To be continued...